De Rossi finds the beauty in portraying her true self as something not to be proud of, not to be scared of, but just to be. You might be able to play along, but isolation is impossible to sustain.

It’s about the moment when you realize that, by smiling through the pain or hiding who you are, you are becoming unbearably light. But what makes it so exceptional is that there is always another layer. Every page felt like catharsis without asking for pity. When I began to read Unbearable Lightness, I was taken aback by de Rossi’s openness and vulnerability. As she arrives back at home her mother confronts her, but instead of addressing her anorexia, de Rossi cries and begs her forgiveness for being gay. She writes of one especially heartbreaking story when, while at home in Victoria, Australia, for Christmas vacation, her brother tries to get her to stop exercising, which causes her to work out for more than five hours at the gym. However, her insecurity in her image (and her increasing self-awareness as a lesbian) leads her to start crash-dieting. She discovers that her talent lies in her ability to charm and convinces a modeling agency to sign her. Her story begins while she was still going by the name of Amanda Lee Rogers, a young woman struggling to find her place within a successful family. It barely touches on her time on the hit television shows Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, instead focusing on her battle with anorexia. Portia de Rossi’s memoir, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, is an indelible self-portrait of a woman so uncomfortable with her identity that she attempts to change every aspect under her control.

Of course, this was not the only reason why Portia de Rossi’s memoir about her struggle with food and acting appealed to me like a great big chocolate-covered gummy bear. However, a life rich in delicious meals and a life spent in the harsh spotlight of the stage do not exactly go together, so I decided to leave the theater and keep the food. I even went so far as getting a masters degree in musical theater. I am a refugee from a theatrical career, and there was a time when I dreamed of spending my life belting out a tune on Broadway. Let me give you a little more background. If you ask any of my friends-nay, even my acquaintances-for two of my defining characteristics, first they will tell you that I am an enthusiastic conversationalist, and second, that I love food.

Portia de rossi book review